*A team meeting in a modern office setting with employees seated around a table using laptops, reflecting everyday workplace discussions and decision-making.*

Flexible working is now widely offered across many organisations.
On paper, progress has been made.

But in practice, many working parents are still feeling stretched, anxious, and quietly under pressure - even when flexibility technically exists.

In my previous blog, I explored why flexibility alone isn’t enough. This week, I want to go one step further and look at what actually makes the difference once flexible working is in place.

Because for working parents, support isn’t defined by a policy.

It’s defined by behaviour.

Flexibility Is Often Assumed, Not Actively Supported

Many managers genuinely believe they are being supportive.
They’ve approved a flexible working request. They’ve agreed a part-time pattern. They’ve said, “Just let me know if you need anything.”

And yet, the parent still feels unsure.

That’s because flexibility is often treated as something that will “hold itself” once agreed. In reality, it needs ongoing reinforcement.

When expectations are left unsaid, parents are left to interpret:

Is it really OK to log off now?
Will this reflect badly on me?
Am I the problem if this isn’t working?

Support that relies on parents repeatedly speaking up places the emotional burden on the very people who are already carrying a lot.

Behaviour Shapes Boundaries More Than Policies Do

What managers do often carries more weight than what they say.

For example, a manager may work flexibly themselves and regularly send emails in the evening. That may work well for them. But without explicit communication, their team can easily assume they are expected to be available too.

A simple sentence makes a difference:

“I often send emails in the evening because it suits my schedule. I don’t expect you to read or respond outside your working hours.”

Without that clarity, flexibility quietly turns into pressure.

The same applies to meetings, deadlines, and workload planning. When things are consistently scheduled on a parent’s non-working day, or assumptions are made without checking in first, it sends a message – even if unintentionally – that flexibility is conditional.

Parents Are Often Managing More Than You See

Many working parents don’t raise concerns because they don’t want to be seen as difficult, uncommitted, or “the problem”.

They may already be:

working intensely during limited hours
managing childcare logistics alongside work demands
trying to prove they are still capable and reliable
holding a strong sense of responsibility for their role

Asking them to continually correct boundaries, explain their schedule, or push back on assumptions adds another layer of effort.

Managers are not expected to mind-read.
But they are in a position of responsibility.

Supportive management means proactively asking:

“Is this working as we expected?”
“What feels most pressured right now?”
“What would make this more sustainable for you?”

Unclear Responses to Life Events Create Anxiety

Another common gap is around time off for things like sick children or unexpected childcare issues.

In many cases, parents are more than willing to make up time or manage workload adjustments. What causes stress is not knowing what the “right” approach is.

Questions go unanswered:

Should I log this as leave?
Can I flex the hours?
Am I expected to catch up later?
What’s acceptable here?

When there is no shared understanding, parents often default to overcompensating. That anxiety builds quietly, over time.

Clear, compassionate guidance removes the guesswork - and builds trust.

Working parent using a laptop at home while their child sits nearby — *A working parent focused on their laptop while caring for a child at home, reflecting the everyday reality many parents navigate alongside their professional responsibilities.*

Support in Practice Looks Like This

Supporting working parents well doesn’t require grand gestures.
It requires consistency and intention.

In practice, this means:

setting and restating expectations clearly
modelling healthy boundaries
checking in regularly, not just when there’s a problem
acknowledging that people’s capacity may fluctuate
recognising that flexibility is not a favour, but a working arrangement

Most importantly, it means creating an environment where parents don’t feel they have to choose between being competent professionals and present parents.